


Age of Innocence

by orphan_account



Category: Iron Maiden (Band)
Genre: Band Fic, Love, M/M, Possessive Behavior, RPF, Slash, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-15 08:38:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16059500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Bruce is in Iron Maiden and Janick is guitarist for Ian Gillan.  their conflicting schedules make it difficult for the lovers to get together but when Bruce appears at one of Gillan's performances to surprise Jan he wishes he hadn't





	Age of Innocence

AGE OF INNOCENCE

CHAPTER ONE

I couldn't sleep. I was exhausted, we had a great show and it was very late, but I couldn't relax. I know I could have taken my pick of any of the girls hanging around backstage, or from some of the boys as well, but while that may have relaxed my body it wouldn't settle my mind. I was worried about Janick. Not worried that something had happened to him or that he was unwell, not that kind of worried. I knew he was fine, we had spoken on the phone just the day before and that's when my uneasiness began.

Jan was in Germany touring with Gillan. When he joined that band I had been thrilled for him. I was with Iron Maiden now and I wanted Jan to have his share of fame and fortune as well. He was good, exceptionally gifted, and performing onstage was his life. It transformed him, the music lifting him into an almost transcendental state, infusing him with an energy one could almost see surrounding him like an aura. And he loved touring, I was genuinely happy for him in that respect. Jan was somewhat unworldly but he had John McCoy to look after him. I knew John and I liked him. But I did not like Ian Gillan.

I'd never told Jan this, of course, and I couldn't have explained it if I had tried. Gillan's voice was legendary but he was less than professional in the business aspect of things, and he was a heavy drinker. But it was more than that, there was something I didn't trust about the guy. It was how he looked at Jan, how he would glance over at him on stage and move closer to him. Jan was mine! He had been for a few years now. Jan was slender and sexy with a perfect ass and wavy hair the color of amber, he captivated me from the moment I met him and I made it my mission in life to get him into my bed. Once I did I knew I could never get enough, and once he overcame his initial reserve he turned out to be as insatiable as myself.

I sighed, finally giving up on sleep. I knew Gillan was in Dresden but I didn't know which hotel so I couldn't call Jan, and that was what I really longed to do. If I could hear his soft voice I might feel a little reassured, but I wasn't up to the task of calling every hotel in Dresden on a wild goose chase. In the end I took a cool shower, wanked off anyway because the shower didn't help, and managed to get a couple of hours of fitful sleep before we had to get up and move on to the next city in the morning. I was subdued and I know the others noticed, but I had earned a reputation as being rather volatile so they left me alone, all except Harry. As for him, he took me aside before we were about to go onstage at the next show.

"I don't know what you've got up your arse, but you'd better look lively out there tonight!" he hissed, "The people didn't pay to see you moping around like a lost puppy!"

That pissed me off, but Steve always had a knack for pissing me off. He knew damned well I'd put my all into the show, I always did. Partly out of spite I crowded him at center stage, I hung off Davey's neck, I did all the things he's repeatedly warned me not to do. I didn't care. I'm not Steve Harris's little puppet and he had better get that through his head. But after the show my doubts and worries returned and it was another restless night, this time in my bunk on the bus, thinking of Jan and missing him. I knew I was in love with him, I'd accepted that some time ago, but I had never told him. I wasn't sure how to tell him or even if I should. Our relationship mostly consisted of talking about music while getting half shit faced at a pub, then fucking each other's brains out until dawn in some hotel room somewhere. The more tender feelings I felt for him usually only came out when we were apart and I would toss and turn all night, missing him and wanting him.

Maiden's tour dragged on and I was able to talk to Jan on the phone a couple of times, but he was in Europe and we were in America. The distance was palpable, and I still had this feeling of uneasiness. He sounded upbeat, Jan was always upbeat, but when I asked him for details about what he was doing he got evasive. Gillan wasn't paying the band properly, I knew that without his having to tell me, it was an open secret in our circles. That wasn't anything Jan would feel he had to keep from me, but I knew there was something he wasn't telling me. I was determined to see him as soon as I possibly could, that was the only thing that would set my mind at ease.

Gillan was back in the U.K. for two weeks before Maiden returned home, but between his schedule and mine I hadn't been in contact with Jan. I knew they were appearing at some festivals so as soon as we returned I immediately made plans to attend the next one they were scheduled to appear in. Luckily it was in Manchester, not an unreasonable distance from my London home. Festivals were a nightmare, I loved performing at them but I hated attending them so I had to call in some favors and drop my name a bit to get access to the performer's restricted areas. Gillan's entourage were housed in a bus parked in a long line of similar vehicles behind some trucks and tents and as soon as I arrived at the festival grounds I went straight back there, checking with the security team and being directed to the correct bus. I was recognized, of course, and had to stop half a dozen times to chat with people and by the time I located Gillan's bus it was early evening. it was still well over an hour before they were scheduled onstage but I couldn't wait, I wanted to see Jan as soon as possible. I had no way to let him know I was coming but I was sure he would be glad to see me as well. It was a warm evening and the door to the bus was open. There was no one in the immediate area so, thinking nothing of it, I stepped up and entered the living area, ready to call out and ask if anyone was there. Then I froze, a wave of emotion I couldn't identify coursing through me. Ian Gillan was sprawled sitting on the sofa in his white stage outfit, his head back against the cushions and his eyes closed. And kneeling in front of him, long wavy hair spread across Ian's thighs, was my Janick.

I felt like all the air had been punched from my lungs and my heart felt constricted. Neither of them realized I was there so I quietly backed away and left. I knew if I stayed for another second I would do or say something and the outcome wouldn't be good. Someone spoke to me as I was walking away but I ignored them, instead kicking a trash container as hard as I possibly could. I couldn't see straight, I was so outraged. It wasn't until I slipped between two equipment trailers to compose myself a bit that I realized I couldn't see straight because my eyes were filled with tears. I leaned against a trailer and closed my eyes, willing myself to calm down. It was taking everything I had to not go back and beat the living fuck out of Gillan and maybe slap Jan around a bit too. But Gillan is a big bloke and if he didn't annihilate me he would have security throw me out. And as far as knocking some sense into Jan, I had to slow down and try to think logically. What right did I have to assume Jan was being faithful to me? I knew there were women, there are always women if you're a musician, but women didn't count. It had never even occurred to me that Jan might fool around with any other man besides myself. I physically clenched my hand over my chest, my heart was pounding and I was having difficulty swallowing. Hah! Ironic, that. Jan certainly hadn't been having any difficulty swallowing. A light breeze chilled my face and I was aware that my cheeks were wet with tears. I stood there for a good half hour, the noise and bustle dim in my ears, trying to decide how to handle seeing Jan now, but I finally thought fuck it, I'll wait until after the performance and just see what happened then.

I was able to watch the show from just offstage with Gillan's techs, one or two of whom recognized me and tried to talk to me but I ignored them. Janick was brilliant, he was always brilliant. The way he would close his eyes and tip his head when he played, the way he pranced around with those impossibly long, slender legs, the sensual way he moved his hips against the guitar always mesmerized me. He was playing a new guitar, I saw; a black and white Strat I didn't recognize. I absently wondered how he could afford a new guitar when I knew Gillan only paid him enough for day-to-day living expenses. Gillan couldn't keep his eyes off Jan. I couldn't blame him for that; how could I? But when I thought of him touching my Jan and of Jan touching him....the scene in the bus flashed back through my mind, my eyes blurred again and I felt faintly nauseous.

After Gillan's encore, the band left the stage. John clapped Jan on the shoulder as he passed him but Ian slid his arm around Jan's shoulders, walking close beside him. I stepped out from between the stacks and Jan saw me immediately, his face lit up, breaking into that smile that always made me fill with warmth. I couldn't find it in me to even smile back.

"Bruce! I didn't know you were here, mate! It's great to see you!" Jan hugged me but I only lightly touched his arm in return. Gillan gave me a cold look. He recognized me, of course, but didn't greet me in any way and I was glad. If he had I may have sucker-punched him right in the face.

Jan sensed something was wrong, we had always had a kind of intuition for one another's moods. "What's wrong, Bruce? Is everything okay?"

The concern in his eyes tore me apart. "Come back to the hotel with me, Jan. I have to talk to you."

Jan glanced over at Gillan, which sparked a flare of anger in me. Did he have to ask permission to even do that much? Gillan showed no expression so Jan called over to him that he would be back later. I was already walking away and Jan hurried to catch up with me.

"Bruce, you're acting odd, it's scaring me! Whatever is wrong?"

I merely shook my head, not trusting myself to speak, only anxious to get away from the festival. I'd arranged for a taxi to pick me up for when Gillan's set was scheduled to be over, at the time I had been anticipating hurrying back to the hotel for a night of making up for lost time with Jan, and I saw the cab waiting already at the V.I.P. gate. Jan tried one more time to get me to talk during the ride back into town but then he gave up. I hadn't even been able to look at him in the cab but I felt his eyes on me, I knew if I looked over at him I would say something I would later regret, something that probably couldn't be unsaid. I knew there was a good chance I would lose my temper at some point anyway but I had no desire to be overheard by a taxi driver or anyone else. I needed the extra time anyway to try to rein in the conflicting emotions I was feeling, feelings I wasn't even sure I understood.

As we exited the hotel lift I grabbed Jan by the wrist, none too gently I'm afraid, and practically dragged him to my room. Once the door was closed behind us he wrenched himself free and stood looking at me, his expression a mix of concern and hurt. For some reason, that set me off. How dare he be hurt!?

"How long, Jan?!" I kept my voice low but it thrummed with repressed rage.

He dared to look puzzled. "How long what?"

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN FUCKING IAN GILLAN?!" I demanded, no longer giving a damn about how loud I was being.

Jan's eyes opened wide and I recognized comprehension in them. "Bruce...,"

"No! Don't 'Bruce' me, Janick! Goddamn it, I saw you!"

"I don't know what you think you saw, but you didn't see me fucking Ian because I haven't been!" Jan never raised his voice, he seldom ever got angry, but I heard anger and confusion now.

"I saw you sucking him off before the show! Is that what you're willing to do now to keep your job? Have you become a whore for Ian Gillan?!"

"Bruce! What I do is none of your fucking business, what is wrong with you?!" I knew it had hurt him that I called him a whore but at the moment I didn't care.

"You are mine, Jan! You don't do that for anyone but me!"

"Who the fuck do you think you are?! You don't own me!" He was definitely angry now, but I knew him well enough to know he was hurt as well. "Who taught me to do these things, Bruce? Who showed me how to be with a man in the first place? It it weren't for you I would probably be happily married, living in Hartlepool and it would probably be better if I were!" 

He turned and grabbed the doorknob to leave but I grasped his hand and tore it off the knob. I knew he would have bruises the next day. I didn't want to hurt him, I truly didn't, so I took a deep breath. Self restraint wasn't one of my strong points but I forced myself to let go of his hand and stand back. He turned back away from the door and crossed his arms in front of him, glaring at me but not speaking.

"Bruce," Jan finally spoke after a long minute, his soft voice quiet now. "I am not fucking Ian. I've never done that with anyone but you, and I don't want to. Ian has been good to me and sometimes I help him unwind before a show. That's all there is to it, and nothing gives you the right to question what I do."

I ran my hand through my hair with a sigh and turned away, walking back into the room. "I know." I admitted, and I was amazed he even heard me, I was speaking so quietly. "I know, Jan, and I'm sorry. I can't help it." I turned to face him, he had stepped further in the room too and stood at the foot of the bed, still with his arms crossed. "I can't help it where you're concerned, Jan!"

"But why, Bruce? You've been with others, I know you have. Why is it a big deal if I have too?"

"I've only been with women. A hand job or maybe a blow job. I haven't even fucked anyone since the last time we were together. I could have, every night if I wanted to, but I didn't want to."

"Why?" he sounded genuinely perplexed. 

I faced him, not looking away from his eyes. "Because I love you, Jan. I'm in love with you and I've only wanted to be with you."

He stared at me almost incredulously. "What?" he finally managed to utter.

I stepped over to him, standing not one foot away from him. "I know I've never told you that, but I thought you knew. "

He shook his head as if he was trying to wake up from sleep. "How could I know? We have a lot of fun together but I never thought I was anything more than a convenient fuck for you!" 

"Jan! No! God, man , you're so much more than that, so very much more. But...." I forced myself to go on, "I know that doesn't give me the right to tell you what to do...."

He stepped up to me and shut me up by pressing his lips to mine. I had been thinking I could never kiss him again, not after knowing where his mouth had been, but that never crossed my mind once I felt his lips soft against my own. I returned the kiss instinctively, pulling him close, submerging myself in his scent and in the very essence of him. He moved back, and I broke the kiss reluctantly.

"Bruce, I felt strongly about you from when we first met. If I hadn't I would never have let you seduce me and do all the things we've done together. I knew I loved you but I though you were only having a bit of fun with me. If I'd thought there was a chance you felt something more than that for me I would never have let Ian or any other man touch me. I mean that, Bruce. " 

I looked at him, there was nothing but sincerity in his sky blue eyes and I knew he was speaking the truth. It was my fault any of this had happened, I had been arrogant to assume he would know how I felt without my telling him. "Promise me, Jan. Promise me you'll never fuck Ian!"

Jan smiled "You know I won't Bruce. It 's not like that with him. Not like it is with you."

I found myself grinning at him. "Like it is with me? How is it with me, Jan?"

"Like this." He stepped up to me and kissed me again and this time we didn't break apart, even as we fell sideways onto the bed. The roller coaster of emotions that had been going through me all coalesced into desire for him then, an overwhelming desire that I sensed was matched by his own. Needless to say, Jan never made it back to the festival that night.


End file.
